thoughts concerning thoughts.

ok- so, i have this theory. actually, i have a couple.
theory number one
you have to be happy with yourself to be happy with other people.
looking at girls(and guys) who focus thier lives on being with someone- a "siginificant other"- and are so happy to be envolved with someone who thinks of them as "more than a friend"... it almost makes me sad to see them get hurt a week and 4 days later. NO. the "hole in your heart" will still be there when he(she, it) leaves. you moron. oh my goodness! are you people flippin stupid?!?! my answer: yes. these people are flippin stupid. you have to be happy with you first and foremost. and not pretending to be happy with you- genuinely happy. to be you, to be who you are, to be who you are as a christian. otherwise that hole... is just going to keep being empty-and it might even get bigger. so, stop digging the holes in your heart with the shovels of stupidity. and learn to be ok with you. search yourself- try yourself. if you find something you hate, change it(for the better of course). and until you can be truely ok with yourself, just leave the opposite sex alone.
theory number two
if you don't make an effort, it won't happen.
AHH! stupid people bother me. not-can't help it-stupid, but smart stupid. people who have every ability God granted to man(woman)- but don't use those abilities. people don't try to be happy. i think that's where i'm going with this. it bothers me that people make it a point to have a sucky life. sulking around as if to say- "have pitty for me, my life sucks more than yours"- but then complain about not being happy. i wake up every morning and say to myself: "today is going to be a god day wether you like it or not." it's as if i refuse to have a bad day. someone called me "little miss sunshine" yesterday, and i asked him why he called me that. he responded: "i've never seen you show any other emotion but happy emotions. even when you walk into a 9AM class when it's pouring down rain; you somehow have a smile on your face when everyone else looks so sad, and upset. i wish i could be that way, and not be so pessimistic all the time. you seem to have a bubble around you that just bursts with happiness. and that, is so cool." i smiled and just said "wow." i then told him what i tell myself everymorning. and that i too have my down days. but, when something goes "arye" i try not to let it drag me down the rest of the day. i mean, if something is constanly on my mind, yea, it's not going to be the best day- but i'll try my hardest to not let it drag me down too hard. so- i guess what i'm drivin at here is that you can't be negative all the time, and expect to be happy. be opptomistic. it's not as hard as it looks.

ok- so on a much lighter note- last night's game was the BEST GAME EVER! oh my goodness! 13 to 13 at the final buzzer, after like 202394762397 interceptions, and then came over time... INTERCEPTION! the best game! oh my! and of course i sat with some guys, and they thought my coaching was hilarious. they all cracked up when i started yelling at the players, and the coaches, and the refs. and then they stopped laughing when i turned around and looked at them... lol. then we all started yelling. it was great fun. oh my gosh! best game EVER!
well, today i'm finishing an art project, and working two shifts at telethon- so... barf-o-rama. not about the art thing, the telemarketing. haha. i'm a poet and didn't realize it... lol.
my "study date" yesterday was really fun. we didn't study, we are today though. yesterday we went out to sit on the grass and study under a tree(sub abore) and we talked for about 10 minutes before getting out our notes, and then we were reading notes, and just started talking. read notes. talked. read notes. talked. yea- that wasn't going very well. so- then we decided to forget studying and to just sit there and talk. then we went to dinner. and i left him in the caf. oops. no- i didn't reallyleave him there, he knew i was leaving. well, i met up with some other people after the game, and we went around just talking- and ended up in the harbin lobby. i was sitting there and april and jason were doing something else, and this guy had ordered a pizza, so we asked him for the number- and some how, that's how we started talking. so, i went to sit by him so we could talk, and after a while my phone rang- and it was SHAUN TEAGE! AHHHH! he's getting married! ewww! how weird! my heart jumped when he called me- it scared me... i didn't know what to say, i didn't want to talk to him... so, i asked jon(the guy i was talking to) if he wanted to go get his laundry(still in the dryer) and so, we walked out, and i said hi to a bunch of guys i knew walking into the dorm- and shan made some stupid comment, and being the smart-alec i am.. yea. that went well. so, i looked at jon, and said "he start talking to me really loud so he can hear you." and he did- and that gave me the excuse to GET OFF THE PHONE! eww... it made me want to yarf. AHHHH! i did not like that sam i am, i do not like his calling me ma'am. that was weird. but anyway- jon is really sweet. and he asked me to come hang out in the harbin lobby some more... so- yea. probably gonna do that. so, life is great.